Saturday, January 24, 2009

Flash Bang: Joe Johnson

Joe Johnson has had lovers before. Girls who stayed for a while before leaving him- thinking they'd gotten all they could. He's had passionate relationships and emotionless ones. Some break-ups hurt more than others, we all know this.

There was this one time, a few years back, where he was happy and some thought he was even in love. He'd moved in with her. Her name was Phoebe. Phoebe liked to ride this beautiful silver Lexus. It could go from 0-60 in a matter of seconds- for a while, it was the fastest ride going around and everyone wanted a piece of it. People bought imposter cars just to look like Phoebe.

Joe and Phoebe were hooked, he was the quiet, sharpshooting athlete. She was the flirtatious girl who everyone liked, but could tell that it probably wouldn't last.

Joe did his best to make ends meet. He worked for hours on end, trying to nurture the love.

They got engaged eventually and planned a multi-million dollar wedding.

Everything seemed perfect until this girl called Ashley came along. Ash was the kind of girl who didn't have the sex appeal of Phoebe, but had the internal charisma and fortitude that made her attractive. She was kinda of a tomboy. Ash didn't wear make-up or straighten her hair. Oh, and she was homeless. She wore raggedy clothes and ill-fitting plastic jewelery. She had been loved and cared for once-upon-a-time. But that was an age ago.

Joe quickly ended his relationship with Phoebe and moved in with Ashley. He cared for her more, put in even more effort into making it work. They started off on a rocky, unstable platform- a relationship built on interest, but not passion- over time Ashley made it work for Joe. She introduced him to her old school friend Josh. Then Marvin and Al moved in across the road. Finally, Mike moved in next door. Joe liked them all. They were nice dudes who kept their words. They worked hard in the gym and competed night in- night out. They couldn't always finish their sessions, but kept working at getting better and stronger.

Fast forward through the smoke and mirrors. Joe Johnson is still going out with Ashley, and unlike with Phoebe, they're taking it slow. They've decided to still be outgoing and compulsive, but they have boundaries. She knows his needs, and he can fulfill hers. Everyone knows them in the neighbourhood- they're the talk of the town- how they seem so perfect for each-other.

Ashley? She's grown her hair longer, she wears make-up again and even looks hot in a dress. She exudes a self-confidence that reflects her personality in even the worst of bubble pucked mirrors. Oh, and did I mention that she's learning a second language? And likes foreign places. Joe says that Chile is nice in late June.

Hopefully I don't need to explain myself because you understand the metaphor.

You might wonder just how a guy, an All-Star, can be so 'slept on'. I do as well. Honestly? I don't even know the answer. Slam Magazine asked the same question. They couldn't answer it fully either.

Who is Joe Johnson? What does he represent? And most importantly- Will this love last?

PS- Shout out to DP for the story idea.


B. Long said...

Joe Johnson could be a sleeper MVP canidate by the end of the year. He deserves the All-star nod.

Anonymous said...

I'm with B on this one. Lebron and Kobe might be the posterchilds of the L, but it's guys like Johnson, Danny Granger, and Devin Harris that are the true superstars for playing hard despite the lack of attention. Great post

Moose said...

Nice creativity, Mr. Hurst. You are my idol.

DP said...

yeah, I think are talk last night did you some good, hurst. haha. excellent post man. like the chile reference. and I know judy jetson would dig young ashley. she sounds like a down a$$ chick! no wonder joe picked her over phoebe. Phoebe is do dang fickle. in my top 5.

Hursty said...

B- absolutely an All-Star. Top 10 MVP candidate.
Baconator- You might be right, but Kobe and Bron Bron work as hard as anyone in the League. And they do get the credit for it-because they've been doing it consistently for years. Granger and Harris have only been doing there 'thing' since late last year (some would argue).
Moose- Thanks. Uh, I spose? :)
DP- Definitely. Thought you might like that. Ashley is still working hard, but she knows her roots and stays grounded.
Phoebe on the other hand, she's running out of money and has made some bad choices. She had a falling out with her dad Mike and god-father Bryan and her new boyfriend is inconsistent and insecure.

AR said...

Um,I have an idea.....

BET said...

"...Oh, and she was homeless....Joe quickly ended his relationship with Phoebe and moved in with Ashley"

He moved in with a homeless girl? Room in the cardboard box for 2!

And who represents Boston? Some Pilgrim B!tch?

But besides that, i enjoyed this piece with a Passion that would make Mel Gibson's Christ shed a tear. It was enjoyable.

BET said...

Danny Granger? Dude is smokin people 'pass the blount' style (quick and good), HOWEVER his team is poorly coached. TJ Ford needs to be utilized more, although Jared Jack aint no joke. Once Lil Dun returns, the Pacers will be fine, oh but they need to fire their Coach. No Larry OBrien's for Jim OBrien

BET said...

blont changed blount automatically. Spell check has captured my computer

Hursty said...

Lil' Dun IS back BET. He has been for a while. Thanks for the compliments though.

I should have said that Joe and Ash moved into a gritty inner-city apartment, but have saved up enough to live in the suburbs now.

AR- What?

jameyburke said...

Good story. JJ doesn't get much press as he's quiet and does not draw attention to himself. And we all know there's only one thing that will make guys like JJ, Granger etc get due props-the O'Brien trophy. Until they get that, or at least the conference finals, they'll be "underrated"..

Moose said...

Mr. Hursty and D. Preezy . . . you guys keep talking about these pieces "in your top 5". How's about all of the Bachi Boys put together a piece about their top five (in a countdown, of course) with an explanation? Hit me back up on that idea.

jameyburke said...

I know this is a bball site, but if you guys haven't seen this new NFL promo, check it out. Pretty sick stuff:

AR said...

Hursty:I'll email you sometime soon about it(provided I still have your adress).

Hursty said...

aright dude.
well its
if that dont work

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