Monday, April 13, 2009

SKO Interview: Eboy



*****First, an intro. HIBACHI 2.0 is constructing a very large interview with all of the members of Shawn Kemp's Offpsring over the course of the next couple of weeks, because we thought it would be interesting . . . fun . . . and funny. And, it would be a new thing. Well, except that SKO actually did some interviews before this. Anyways. There are some general questions from HIBACHI, but at the end of all of the interviews BETCATS asked a few different ones that were many times more entertaining. Anyways, we give you first in a five-part piece . . . Mr. Cliff Terhune a.k.a. Eboy. So, thank you to Eboy and the whole SKO fam.*****

HIBACHI: Childhood . . . where did you live, what kind of stuff did you do, etc? Siblings?
Eboy: Grew up in Jersey......as an only child(imagine that) and had a huge family that was everywhere throughout the state. I was you normal kid growing up......no big problems that lead to my downfall. Well there was that night in ‘87 when I.........aww..forget it.

 
HIBACHI: How did you discover basketball?
Eboy: Through my uncle Mike......who basically turned me on to college and pro ball and that’s how I discovered a freshmen in the making Michael Jeffrey Jordan. Just so happened that he got drafted to the Bulls...who I was cheering for because my uncle had lived in Chicago for 10 years before and he had me hooked on the Bulls since the Nets and Knicks both sucked the collective dick of shittiness. Fate is pretty cool.

HIBACHI: What hobbies have you had throughout your life?
Eboy: Basketball......cooking......comic books.....music......playing in bands......basketball......my fam......being know as Eboy to adoring fans worldwide.

HIBACHI: If you went to college, where did you go and what did you study?
Eboy: I did go to college....missed out on playing big time college ball due to family circumstances....played ball for a Junior college before taking my career path to real school......blah....blah...blah.

HIBACHI: Marital status/kids?
Been with my wife for 12 years (married for 6 of them) and have one son, 4 years old, who is now taking over the house like I’m a broke bitch in foreclosure.

HIBACHI: Age?
Eboy: In my mind I’m still 24.....but 38 ain’t so bad if you’re trying to live like you still got game.

HIBACHI: Occupation?
Eboy: Boring.

HIBACHI: Favorite player as a kid growing up?
Eboy: If you are referencing basketball.....it was and always will be Michael. I’ve had a well documented love affair with the dude since I was 12.

HIBACHI: Why are you a fan of the team that you root for?
Eboy: I’m going to answer this too.....even though it’s for TAD mostly. I root for the Heat for two reasons. I moved to Florida the same year that the Heat started as a franchise and I got caught up in the excitement that surrounded the team in it’s infancy. Although I was a staunch Bulls fan from the time of late in his career Artis Gilmore......and was obsessed with Michael, Scottie, etc......the Heat were like the little brother who tried their damndest but could never get over the hump. Once Michael left in 98 (and I became disgusted with the management of the two Jerry’s for breaking up the greatest modern sports dynasty without giving them the chance to lose what they had earned and turned my back forever on the Bulls) I turned my full, undivided attention to the Heat.....not just a casual fan.....but fully engrossed.....in a team that only mattered a couple of seasons in their history up to that point. I wasn’t like the modern Laker fan....who is jumping on the wagon when things are at their best.....I supported them when they were their absolute worst. Having seen the emergence of Dwyane is just icing at this point. 20 years on....I AM the Heat.

HIBACHI:When did you stop playing hoops, if ever? On what levels did you play?
Eboy: Still haven’t stopped playing. Documented elsewhere is the history of Eboy the prep player.....so I won’t bore your again.

HIBACHI: Who is your favorite player now?
Eboy: Favorite player now........hmmm........well......of course Dwyane is ridiculous and I have the utmost respect for his game......but Michael Beasley is tugging hard for a few reasons.....he’s a natural scorer (like me).....left handed (like me).....goofy(like me).....and he’s got an unlimited ceiling on just how good he can be. I feel blessed to be able to see two talents like this from night to night and hope I can see it for a while longer.

HIBACHI: Have you ever met an NBA players?
Eboy: Yes.....I have. I also have a few relationships with some former Heat players as well as a few other local guys that played NBA ball in other spots. I also.....and mostly never talk about.....have a pretty cool relationship with one of the most legendary sports figures in history......but no one ever believes me.....so I keep it to myself. It works out better that way anyway.

HIBACHI: Where do you see the Heat in five years?
Eboy: If Dwyane stays and Beasley develops.....and they can make a free agent signing of huge proportions......the Heat, with Dwayne still in his prime, will be challenging for Eastern Conference supremacy for a few seasons with the Magic and the Cavs.

HIBACHI: Which rookie from the class of '08 will have a better career?
Eboy: Confused by this question.....but I would say that OJ, Derrick, Michael, Robin and Kevin will all be career players with the possibility of a few of them being legendary.

HIBACHI: If you could take any non-all-star in the NBA and place them on your team, who would it be?
Eboy: Wow......who would I want to fit with the Heat? A guy like Caron Butler would look good back in black and red.

HIBACHI: What music do you listen to?
Eboy: I’d say everything......but it’s kind of misleading.....I love old rhythm and blues.....hard rock.....old school hip hop......Motown......80's metal.....90's alternative. Yeah...that’s about it.

HIBACHI: Who wins the Finals this year?
Eboy: Interesting question........here will be your most interesting answer, obviously. The Cavs will take that shit like they own it. The real answer you know you want to read is who will they beat? I’ll say with full honesty....and not because of my dislike for the team.....that the Lakers will not be there. They just don’t have enough horses coming from their bench to win three series in the west. They’ll lose....in my estimation....to either the Nugs or the Jazz in some odd series that will make little sense to fans across the country. Kind of like this answer.

BETCATS: Does having such large man boobs pester you?
Eboy: No.....sports bras are way better today than they were in the 90's.

BETCATS: Can you describe what it is like to be a chronic liar AS A DAY JOB. Would you recommend it?
Eboy: Uhm.....probably not.....you never know when you're going to have to switch it up.

BETCATS: True or False: you and raccoon genitals are like popcorn and butter.
Eboy: Possibly......although I prefer white cheddar salt on my popcorn.

BETCATS: Follow up regarding you and Ryan Jones's marriage: when can we expect the first baby?
Eboy: Ryan is currently taking prenatal vitamins to open the potential birth canal.....so it's getting closer.

BETCATS: How is your son doing? Is 'Lil Eboy' ever going to comment? If so, can i teach him how to?
Eboy: Kid's good....if he comment's I hope he has the potential to do something innovative like coming up with comment hangman....so yeah, you can lend a hand in teaching him.

BETCATS: If you could be one animal, what would it be and why?
Eboy: Hmmmm............well, I like to think that I could be some form of a big cat like a lion or a tiger............but in all honesty....I'd like to be a gorilla....why not live life being able to whip some ass and throw my poop at whoever I'd like?

BETCATS: If you had to eat one human body part forever, what would it be and why?
Eboy: Is this a trick question? When you say "eat" does it mean I have to digest it?

Thanks a lot for your time, E. That was only 1 of 5 . . . get excited for TADOne, Cheryl, AR and Tariq!

24 comments:

BET said...

This is why i love youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aaIc37v1rQ

BET said...

and how did you not know Eboy was a lawyer. My man gave me free legal advice before!

Moose said...

I knew that Eboy was a lawyer; I sent a list of the same questions to all of the guys (and woman) with some extra questions for each one.

BET said...

idk about this whole concept though. It makes us look like we are behind the rest. We are down here interviewing bloggers, while the people we interview are interviewing the SLAM staff. It just makes me feel like we arent on their level (which we are, and i am even above it, but still). Also the fact that i get my name separate from hibachi is 2 things: 1) Good for my ego
2)kind of werid, seeing that i am part of the 'Bachi. And i am guessing those are all your questions, so why not put 'Moose' instead?

Not trying to call you out, i appreciate what you are doing, i just want our site to be the best Robot Destroyer in the world of Transformers

BET said...

i got Tony Parker and Jerry Sloan following me on twitter, made i can try to get one of them to answer some questions? Or we gotta interview Stack Mack ASAP!

BET said...

Space Race motha fuckers! To quote Gucci "Im built like a stadium or a gymnasium"

AR said...

BET:I do love you sometimes,you know that?

BET said...

yeah, i was just poppin questions out of my ass. You seem like a Stern Mother/Russian Judge type though.

AR said...

I've just sent my genius to Moose.Get ready.

Moose said...

@ BETCATS: I hear what you're saying. First of all, it's just the beginning of the interviews; I think that we'll definitely move on to other guys, like Holly Mac, as you've mentioned above. As for putting "BETCATS" apart from Hibachi . . . to admit it, yes, I wrote all of the questions, but I don't want it to look like it wasn't that much of a group thing, because I did get some question ideas from RV and Hursty. Also, those were your questions, so I wanted to give them some shine and give you credit. Should I put "Moose" in front of my questions next time?

BET said...

i mean if you wrote them you deserve shine too. Just give them a shout out in the disclaimer/intro thing. But that is what i would do, i am not going to tell you how to write, i am just saying stuff.

Moose said...

I'll take the suggestion, BET. I just wanted to give yours time to shine as YOURS, so I labelled them, I didn't want to take credit for them.

Eboy said...

Funny.........and appropriate. Thansk to Moose and BET for giving me my 2 minutes of shine.....and BET.....don't feel like your slumming with a blogger interview........IT'S ME BITCH!!!!! The only way you can do better is if you get Kobe and Lebron to talk about some gay sex tape they made! Who knows when a Hibachi interview might turn up somewhere.

Moose said...

We're excited, CT. You saw my email then, I presume . . . well, I dunno about Hursty, DP or MBW, but BET and I are ready for questions; we've talked about this via email. We're here and ready.

Moose said...

And yeah, definitely, of course. It was your idea in the first place, haha.

Eboy said...

I can get down with it......could be a good summertime project once the playoffs are over!

Moose said...

Whenever. I'm ready to go whenever you are. And I don't wanna speak for the Cat, but I think he's with me. But this is SKO time. Check your email for a new one please, E.

Hursty said...

I'm down for some questioning. Sounds good to me.
Eboy: that special player you were talking about- was that Buck?
Good stuff Moose.
BET- you were funny as always. :)

jameyburke said...

Not feeling this one..kind of like an inside joke that you're not inside...??

Justin Walsh said...

this was effing insane. i love it

Eboy said...

Oh Jamey......lighten up.

Hursty said...

jameyburke- regardless of how old you are- you're still a slam rookie on the boards haha.
btw, I think that was the first time you ever posted here without spamming us with a link lol.

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