Monday, March 2, 2009

Sunshine, Senor LD with the PSA

By Justin Walsh

Start of the week Ladies and Gentlemen!

It's your host, Mister Senor Love Daddy,

The Cavs squeek by, The Lakers drop a dandy

and Kanye West is nailin' a bald blonde...

That's the truth, Ruth.


Wait, so you're telling me STAT ANNND Nash are hurt for the suns?

SHAQ: EVERYONE CHILL THE FUCK OUT! I GOT THIS.

Shaq, you are old as balls, you know that, right?

SHAQ: I twitter more often than you've been alive. I'm the SHAQTASM.

Alright Shaqtus, just try and keep up.

SHAQ: Keep up? I'm Kazzaam, I'm a beast. I'm going beast mode.


Okay, I know what you're all thinking. Complete bull. Yeah, I thought the Suns were DONE. No Nash, no Amare, Jared Dudley and Goran Dragic get good minutes...I thought they were the Alternate Universe Suns- you know, like in DC comics where Batman is dead in one reality, alive in another, and in the third all the superheros are old - THAT kind of alternate ish. But anyway, somehow to the complete and utter awe to Me, Holly MacKenzie & Steve Nash's alien face, The Suns ran a better run&gun offense than the old suns the past few games.

Ladies 'n Gents, Berries and Cream, let's try and get some semblance of sanity here. I thought LBJ was a lock for the MVP but the past few games, he's played like shit in a bag with airballed jumpers galore. Interestingly enough, I still think he's miles ahead- even though Kobe is going bananas, his team lost to a STATless NASHless Suns team. Here's some analysis I think the whole world can agree on. The Cavs are ALWAYS best when LBJ drives into the cup. Whether he takes the shot, or dishes it out, the Cavs offense gels most effectively when driving to the hoop. So here's the question- why does LBJ shoot so many damn jumpers that ruin the offense? Yeah, he does make a few, but goodness flava-flav greatness they don't help that often. Holly and I spoke over the weekend about LBJ and his team's offense, we both figured in this stretch of the season King James needs to dominate the game by driving in every chance he gets. No more of this jumpshot business, no sir.

This brings me to point number two in what possibly could be the worst transition ever (well, besides when Chris Quinn runs the point, eh Eboy?), Reggie Miller makes my ears bleed. No seriously, sometimes I think we need to borrow some lyrics from eminem and just get him "shot in a trashcan wit' more holes than an afghan." Now I may not agree with the afghan part, let's get this done. He ruined All Star Weekend. Why would we have a 3 point shooter host a Dunk Theater event? Why would we allow the man with the 4th weirdest release on his jumpshot to talk shit about the shooting technique of Rashard Lewis or D. Cook? Last time I checked, when Reggie released, somehow god threw a big ass wrench into his elbows and put griptape on his guide hand so he'd have to make a weird shooting motion to get it in... Yeah, it went it all the time, but let's be real- he has no business breaking down shot form. 3 things should never happen- Shawn Marion can't teach shooting fundamentals, Reggie Miller can't critique shooting fundamentals, AAAAND-

Walter Hermann should never be able to have a stretch where he goes 4-4 against the defending champs. I'm sorry folks, but the lost Hansen brother needs to be shut down defensively. Besides, we all know this is the only reason young man is in the league-

Palming the ball with only your thumb and index finger is swell, but get your ass back to the bench. You wanna know what else Walty Walt has done to get in the league? In a dunk contest, he didn't lose the shirt, he lost the whole outfit. Check it. Seriously, apparently going all Risky Business in dunk contests then dunking it calmly is apparently big business.


Alright, I'm done taking potshots- he's in the league, I'm not. End of story. On to other news, I'm going to talk about the R.O.Y. award nominees. Shit is real, son. Derrick Rose has been solid for about 90% of the season thus far, and will probably win this award, but let's not forget that OJ Mayo is the truth and will be the next Kobe Bryant in our league. I'm not making comparisons, just watch these cats play. Also, two rookies who have totally said F U pay me to anybody else not named Ovinton and Derrick are Russell Westbrook and Brooke Lopez. Yep, that Nets big man. He's playing better ball in the past few months than MOST of the rookies, if not all. And I have a feeling Russell Westbrook could be a better Joe Johnson. Start the talks people!



Last, I think it's time for some choice "These players don't get their due" discussion. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you DWADE. Young man averages more points, more assists, the same FG%, around the same FT%, more steals, within .4 blocks, same turnover rate of LBJ. People always say just HOW MUCH MORE VERSATILE James is than anybody else, but Wade has just about every stat neck and neck. And he's not nearly as physically imposing. Folks, I'm not a Wade lover by any means, but this information is just ridiculous like the back uh' yo head (MADTV yall?). Second, I lead you into the services of Josh Smith. He gets no love individually, but what sucks more is that he gets no love as a team on the Hawks- does anybody know they are currently the 4th playoff seed & only lost by one to the Cavs last night because of shitty refs? They also only get national TV play like, what, once in a monkey-fuck? Unacceptable. We must rectify this. Alright, A J-SMOOOOOVE mix to lead us out of the segment.

Alright folks, start of the week...I think we need some ridiculously hard, high, far pulled dunks. Here's HAWK. Disgusting dunks. No explanation needed my gingerbread men. Let's do this.


Alright guys, I'm gonna get you men on another level for a minute. I listen to music all the time when I'm watchin' ball. For the past week, I've made sure during every game I watch I have music on. So to leave you cats, I'm hittin' you guys up with my top 3 played ish through the games. One of these songs were on one of the AND1 DVD's. And the last one is the song I had on repeat for an entire Celtics game. Made Scalabrine HOOD.
AASIM-MONSTA MASH

MOS DEF-SUNSHINE



BIG L & JAY Z-7 MINUTES OF HEAVEN



...And we out sucka.

34 comments:

Moose said...

Nice, Justin, very nice. Also, Smith individually is actually not living up to his potential at all this year. He's gotta step it up. That's why I traded him for Artest (I need threes) in fantasy.

Justin Walsh said...

fantasy doesn't mean he aint underrated. I love that dude! Hah. By the way, in case yall didn't know, this was ish by MEEE :)

Justin Walsh said...

By the way moose, really watch those youtube videos, it's really worth it, every one.

BETCATZ WITH A Z said...

come on man, we needed to let DP get shine for his piece.

We needed to let more people read his ish. This was posted too soon.


Besides that it was great!

Justin Walsh said...

his stuff was great, and I agree with him that the class of 2011 might be a bit overrated, but it's definitely better than 2010.

BETCATZ WITH A Z said...

class of 2011 is better in everyway, basketball included.

Eat it FISH FACE!!

BETCATZ WITH A Z said...

fish face is what we call you non-2011 high schoolers. Or at least i do.

Justin Walsh said...

BET, I'm in college, and truth be told my favorite player is in the class of 2011- Cezar Guerrero. I've hung with him, interviewed him, BIL has mixes of him. Seriously, I'm a big 2011 fan, I just think they could be a biiiiit overrated.

BETCATZ WITH A Z said...

im in the class of 2011, but i am not biased. I just like to tell the truth Justin. You know me.

BETCATZ WITH A Z said...

any thoughts on K'naan?

BETCATZ WITH A Z said...

it was a random question, but please answer it!

Justin Walsh said...

K'naan, son of Mogadishu? He's worked with some of my favorite artists (Mos Def, Phaoroah Monche, The Roots). Talented dude. Voice sounds kinda like eminem, got some Bob Marley flava too, but he doesnt lyricize about any of that gangsta rap stuff, and not exactly like marley by any stretch. Just a solid dude.

Justin Walsh said...

and yeh BET, I know you speak truth. I try & do the same. And for real, Ross in 2011 is way overhyped.

BETCATZ WITH A Z said...

i dont really follow HS ball like that. Any Enloe dudes on your radar? The one BEAST at our school Melvin Tabb, is he known at all?

Justin Walsh said...

Melvin Tabb is solid in the class of 2010, a top 50 player committed to Wake Forest & probably deserves to be ranked about 10 slots higher. I saw him play a few times for Raptor Select & he reminds me of Wake forward James Johnson

BETCATZ WITH A Z said...

i know what class he is, he goes to my school. That guy is loud

Justin Walsh said...

BET, I figured you would know, just letting other readers know! How are his grades?

BETCATZ WITH A Z said...

i dont look at old boy's report card. Plus he got like 2 feet on me and i am 6'something(depending on who you ask) so i cant snatch it from him.

Justin Walsh said...

haha fair enough it's just that most cats know how the athletes do in their schools, the gossip meter is hiigh high hiiiiiiiiigh.

BETCATZ WITH A Z said...

well i have heard shit but will not say it because it would be rep bashing. Not into saying untruths.

Here is some stuff to you listen to (since you got the music video going on)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrKTUWSDc4g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyFXFejjhC8&feature=related

Justin Walsh said...

I'm a Joe Budden fan, he's smoothhh.

DP said...

I could have sworn there was a rule that said we must let every piece get it's shine on for a day at least...mine got 11 hours. Ha! Just joking around, Justin. Good ish my man. Dude, is there anywhere on the internet where I can find a Big L mixtape? My goodness, that dude was straight murkin the beat. outshined Jigga on that whole song in my opinion. wow...dude is sick. and he is dead? damn man, all the real artists are gone. anyways, great article man and I agree with you all, 2011 is way overrated and Ross is not that much of a boss. But Mychal Ammons frm vicksburg, ms is the next ray allen. bet on it.

Justin Walsh said...

sorry DP I honestly didn't know my man. And I'll get some BIG L stuff together for you my man just gimme a minute.

Justin Walsh said...

DP, my boy, check the BIG L playlist i found. It's on my lil blog reversepivot.blogspot.com its the top post. Alright bro check it out, enjoy

Moose said...

Justin, is there any news on the class of 2014? Never too early . . . I'm just wondering.

jameyburke said...

No time to follow high-school, it's kind of fruitless anyways seeing that they can't make the "jump" anymore. I can see following your alma-matter or friends/family, but I just can't get into it. Walshy, I'm with you on Flash-he is incredible. Unfortunately, the Heat fell off the radar, and I also believe his injury-ridden season of 07-08 caused people to sleep/forget about him, but he is the real deal. Not nearly as jacked as 'Bron, but just as tough. From the moment I saw him in the early medal rounds last summer he just looked locked and loaded. Josh Smith-freak of nature. Very similar to a young Ticket, but maybe more athletically gifted. The way Lebron is playing, and the Celts being defending champs, Wade and Smith don't get much attention in the East. Good piece. BET, thx for checking out my blog btw. ps heard Hibachi 1.0 has started practicing. When the f is he gonna play again....???

Eboy said...

Walsh trying to get some Wade swag shrapnel....nice!

Justin Walsh said...

Moose, I have a specific rule never to evaluate before the freshman year of HS, it's just wrong.

Justin Walsh said...

Eboy, I figured you might like that, but let's be real, if Wade or Kobe had Bron's body they would be without a doubt better than Bron

BET said...

Justin if Lebron used Lebron's body nobody would question he is the best. The one thing keeping Lebron from dominating is Lebron. If Lebron stops trying to be a jump shooter and just drive every time, he would average 40 a game.

Justin Walsh said...

BET- I totally agree, I am really annoyed when he shoots jumpers, because realistically he only shoots well a few times a year from deep

Hursty said...

3's and dunks/3 point plays going to the BASKET are all LeBron needs to do to average 40. For him, there is no point having a mid-range jumpshot, just isn't. He can dunk it off two steps from the 3pt line...so why bother lol.

Bielasiak33 said...

haha that Hawk mix... One white guy in the whole thing and he is just getting straight up rejected right around 2:03ish...

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