SKO Interview: Tariq Al Haydar

******You guys know what's happening by now. This is our third interview with members of Shawn Kemp's Offspring in a series. I have yet to hear from Cheryl and TADOne, so if anyone sees them, tell them to hustle up! Anyways, here is our semi-famous author friend (how friendly did that sound?), Tariq Al Haydar. If you want to see all of the interviews, just click the label "SKO Interviews" at the bottom of the page. Just remember, the views and opinions expressed in this piece are Tariq Al Haydar's, not mine or anybody elses. OK, let's go!******


HIBACHI: Tell us about your childhood?
Tariq: I spent part of my childhood in Richmond, VA and then moved back to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia after second grade.

HIBACHI: How did you discover basketball?
Tariq: One of my best friends wanted to play in the NBA. He was the only guy I knew who could dunk (barely). He had VHS tapes like Come Fly With Me, and we watched them over and over again. Around that time we started to get satellite TV here in Riyadh so we would stay up until dawn to watch games.

HIBACHI: Hobbies throughout your life?
Tariq: I guess reading and writing. Watching sports (NFL and soccer too). Um... video games. And swindling non-profit organizations.

HIBACHI: If you went to college, where did you go and what did you study?
Tariq: I went to KSU here in Riyadh and studied English and then got my MA in English from the University of Exeter in the UK. I just got accepted into the PhD program at George Washington University.

HIBACHI: Marital status/kids?
Tariq: I'm getting married in July, God-willing.

HIBACHI: What is a cool thing about where you live that outsiders don't know about?
Tariq: I would think that people might enjoy the desert at night.

HIBACHI: Favorite player as a kid growing up?
Tariq: Appropriately. Shawn Kemp. And Penny.

HIBACHI: Do you plan on writing any more books (congrats on that, too)?
Tariq: Thanks. Yeah, I've written about 40 pages of the next one.

HIBACHI: Who is your favorite player now?
Tariq: Allen Iverson. Not a good time to be an AI fan.

HIBACHI: Have you ever met an NBA players?
Tariq: I remember my best friend and I were at Century City in LA in 96 and we saw Chris Webber get into his car. And I saw Jason Kidd at JFK airport a few years ago. But I never actually met anyone.

HIBACHI: Which rookie from the class of '08 will have a better career?
Tariq: Derrick Rose.

HIBACHI: If you could take any non-all-star in the NBA and place them on your team, who would it be?
Tariq: Deron Williams (Ed. Note: He got us. Originally he said Rajon Rondo, but, indeed, Deron is definitely the best non-all star in the NBA.).

HIBACHI: Who wins the Finals this year?
Tariq: Lakers over Cleveland in 6. (maybe 7)

BETCATS: Is the song Arab Money as offensive to you as it is strange to me? The chorus on that song is crazy!
Tariq: "Arab Money" reinforces certain stereotypes, but I don't view it as offensive per se. I think of it more as vapid. It's a very forgettable song. But no, I wasn't really offended.

BETCATS: What do you see happening in the Middle East? Talk about Afghanistan/Pakistan/India first, then i would like to hear your views on the seemingly crazy government that Israel now has.
Tariq: Honestly, the situation in the Middle East has remained the same for so long that I no longer follow the news. It's too depressing. Sorry, I would like to be more insightful, but I don't have the energy. All I know is that the American government will continue to serve its interests, Israel will continue to oppress Palestinians, lip service MAY be paid to an imaginary and far-off "two-state solution" which Israel will resist, and terrorism will continue to grow. That's my perspective, and it's pretty bleak, but it is what it is. I have no faith in a political solution to the Middle East problem. If there is to be a solution in the future, it has to start with the PEOPLE. I think Muslims, Arabs, Americans, Israelis...we all need to stop looking at the situation through a "We/Them" prism. The concept of the "Exotic Other" has to vanish in order for there to be peace. As for politicians and governments, they will continue to be self-serving.

Thanks to Tariq for making this happen. Cheryl, TAD, we're ready!

SKO Interview: AR/H to the Izzo

*****This is second in our series of interviews with Shawn Kemp's Offspring members, with our very own AR, also known as h to the Izzo, or just plain Izzo nowadays. On to the stuff. Questions by me are marked as HIBACHI, questions by BETCATS with no association to me whatsoever are marked as BETCATS. Enjoy . . .*****

HIBACHI: How did you discover basketball?
AR: Well,my father played at a semi pro level over here and played a few times for Ireland and a bunch of my uncles did the same,so I guess basketball has always been 'in my blood' I guess.My dad used to coach some teams when I was really young,like around 6 or 7 and I'd always go with him to the practices and whatnot but I never really got into basketball through that.I was playing other sports at the time like soccer and rugby,I wasn't much good at them,merely average but I was interested enough in them not to give basketball a second thought.Then a few years passed,my dad had quit coaching and wasn't involved in basketball in any capacity,one day,me and one of my best friends were hanging out doing nothing,went into the local community centre,saw that some club were training and the people were around our age.We decided to give it a go there and then-with no gear,no shoes.Nothing.We went in,it turned out it was a new club so there was no pre-existing cliques or anything like that,so it was easy to fit in.That and the coach was and still is the nicest person I've ever met.Well,that was the first time,I've picked up a basketball,I was around 12 at the time and I didn't suck.I was able to lay the ball up straight away and had pretty good fundamentals inbuilt in me.It was cool,because the guys that were there that first day are the people I've been playing with ever since.I kept practicing and got pretty good,I was playing 17 and under when I was 13.We did pretty well,won some 'chips,almost went unbeaten one season.I'll stop before I induce some nostalgia vomit.

HIBACHI: If you went to college, where did you go and what did you study?
AR: English and New Media-University of Limerick(not sure if that should be in)

HIBACHI: Age?
AR: Anywhere between 17 and 43.

HIBACHI: What is a cool thing about where you live that outsiders don't know about?
AR: I'm not sure how to answer this one,because I don't know what outsiders do know.I would assume that most would think that Ireland is very rural and picture a lot farms and wisecracking livestock that ultimately teach you life lessons ,but where I grew up was very urban and if you were to throw water balloon directly onto the floor,you'd splash at least five rappers.

HIBACHI: Favorite player as a kid growing up?
AR: Ray Allen

HIBACHI: When did you stop playing hoops, if ever? On what levels did you play?
AR: I still play.As has been mentioned before,I once got trial for the under 14 International team.

HIBACHI: Who is your favorite player now?
AR: Joel Przybillia

HIBACHI: Have you ever met an NBA players?
AR: Does Mario Ellie count?It shouldn't

HIBACHI: Which rookie from the class of '08 will have a better career?
AR: Derrick Rose.I don't think there's much more explanation needed here.

HIBACHI: If you could take any non-all-star in the NBA and place them on your team, who would it be?
AR: David Lee but that's because he's white and he tries really hard.Bless him.

HIBACHI: What music do you listen to?
AR: I pretty much only listen to Taylor Swift these days.

HIBACHI: Who wins the Finals this year?
AR: I have no idea why,but I like the Celtics for a repeat.

BETCATS: I say tomato you say.......
AR: I say,I wonder what John Mayer is doing on Twitter right now?Oh he's trying to holla at Demi Lovato?For realz.Yeah I don't know who that is either.I'd totally do Emma Stone,btw.

BETCATS: How would you react if i said you are the one dude on the internet who slightly 'scares' me?
AR: I respect your propensity for cautiousness,your instincts will serve you well,grasshopper.How would you react if I told you that you're one of the guys who makes me laugh pretty regularly and I'm not sure whether to recommend and increase or decrease in your meds?In what way do I scare you.Where am I on your terror colour chart?Red?Orange?Translucent?You know what scares me?The new line of Reggie Miller thesaurus' and dictionaries "Learn to English Good" coming out this fall.That shit keeps me up at night.

BETCATS: Lebron or Kobe? And a followup question: Lebron or Lebron?
AR: Well before I answer this,I want to point out something about these two guys and how they are treated by fans/followers or whatever.Both,in my opinion, are served pretty badly by lunatic fringes.I have no interest in the dichotomous rhetoric surrounding either of these players.In my opinion anyone who says Kobe isn't a good player is a fucking idiot,ditto for anyone who says the same about LeBron is also an idiot.The same goes for the fanboys with unhealthy obsessions with either,this is generally prevalent moreso in the Kobe camp.If you type any innocent comment criticizing Kobe fairly,or even consider Kobe's position in the game objectively,some half wit will inevitably chime in calling you a 'hater' or something stupid similar.These generally tend to be the same people who would consider dunking to be a measurable stat and consider it as criteria for choosing an MVP.I just base my opinion on evidence which will usually lead a sane person to a middling conclusion.From what I can see,LeBron is in the process of taking over the League for a good period of time.This will probably be the last year he even leaves the MVP award up for debate.I can appreciate Kobe is a excellent player and should be remember as so,but IMO LeBron is a one time deal. To answer your follow up question,Don Rickles.

BETCATS: Ihop or The Waffle House?
AR: I have no idea what either of these things are.

BETCATS: Burger King or McDonalds?
AR: This is a tough one,I mean I usually like to eat food that's gathered from animals,but if I were forced,it's Burger King everyday.

BETCATS: Do you accept human sacrifices? If so, what animal/commentor would most please the Izzo gods?
AR: I'd like to have James(Krayzie Bone(what happened to him?))'s brain sent to me on a platter made of the finest ceramic.Other than that I'd like all seasons of both 30 Rock and Gossip Girl on DVD.

Thanks for reading, everyone. Tariq up next! In line is Cheryl and TADOne!

SKO Interview: Eboy

*****First, an intro. HIBACHI 2.0 is constructing a very large interview with all of the members of Shawn Kemp's Offpsring over the course of the next couple of weeks, because we thought it would be interesting . . . fun . . . and funny. And, it would be a new thing. Well, except that SKO actually did some interviews before this. Anyways. There are some general questions from HIBACHI, but at the end of all of the interviews BETCATS asked a few different ones that were many times more entertaining. Anyways, we give you first in a five-part piece . . . Mr. Cliff Terhune a.k.a. Eboy. So, thank you to Eboy and the whole SKO fam.*****

HIBACHI: Childhood . . . where did you live, what kind of stuff did you do, etc? Siblings?
Eboy: Grew up in Jersey......as an only child(imagine that) and had a huge family that was everywhere throughout the state. I was you normal kid growing up......no big problems that lead to my downfall. Well there was that night in ‘87 when I.........aww..forget it.

　
HIBACHI: How did you discover basketball?
Eboy: Through my uncle Mike......who basically turned me on to college and pro ball and that’s how I discovered a freshmen in the making Michael Jeffrey Jordan. Just so happened that he got drafted to the Bulls...who I was cheering for because my uncle had lived in Chicago for 10 years before and he had me hooked on the Bulls since the Nets and Knicks both sucked the collective dick of shittiness. Fate is pretty cool.

HIBACHI: What hobbies have you had throughout your life?
Eboy: Basketball......cooking......comic books.....music......playing in bands......basketball......my fam......being know as Eboy to adoring fans worldwide.

HIBACHI: If you went to college, where did you go and what did you study?
Eboy: I did go to college....missed out on playing big time college ball due to family circumstances....played ball for a Junior college before taking my career path to real school......blah....blah...blah.

HIBACHI: Marital status/kids?
Been with my wife for 12 years (married for 6 of them) and have one son, 4 years old, who is now taking over the house like I’m a broke bitch in foreclosure.

HIBACHI: Age?
Eboy: In my mind I’m still 24.....but 38 ain’t so bad if you’re trying to live like you still got game.

HIBACHI: Occupation?
Eboy: Boring.

HIBACHI: Favorite player as a kid growing up?
Eboy: If you are referencing basketball.....it was and always will be Michael. I’ve had a well documented love affair with the dude since I was 12.

HIBACHI: Why are you a fan of the team that you root for?
Eboy: I’m going to answer this too.....even though it’s for TAD mostly. I root for the Heat for two reasons. I moved to Florida the same year that the Heat started as a franchise and I got caught up in the excitement that surrounded the team in it’s infancy. Although I was a staunch Bulls fan from the time of late in his career Artis Gilmore......and was obsessed with Michael, Scottie, etc......the Heat were like the little brother who tried their damndest but could never get over the hump. Once Michael left in 98 (and I became disgusted with the management of the two Jerry’s for breaking up the greatest modern sports dynasty without giving them the chance to lose what they had earned and turned my back forever on the Bulls) I turned my full, undivided attention to the Heat.....not just a casual fan.....but fully engrossed.....in a team that only mattered a couple of seasons in their history up to that point. I wasn’t like the modern Laker fan....who is jumping on the wagon when things are at their best.....I supported them when they were their absolute worst. Having seen the emergence of Dwyane is just icing at this point. 20 years on....I AM the Heat.

HIBACHI:When did you stop playing hoops, if ever? On what levels did you play?
Eboy: Still haven’t stopped playing. Documented elsewhere is the history of Eboy the prep player.....so I won’t bore your again.

HIBACHI: Who is your favorite player now?
Eboy: Favorite player now........hmmm........well......of course Dwyane is ridiculous and I have the utmost respect for his game......but Michael Beasley is tugging hard for a few reasons.....he’s a natural scorer (like me).....left handed (like me).....goofy(like me).....and he’s got an unlimited ceiling on just how good he can be. I feel blessed to be able to see two talents like this from night to night and hope I can see it for a while longer.

HIBACHI: Have you ever met an NBA players?
Eboy: Yes.....I have. I also have a few relationships with some former Heat players as well as a few other local guys that played NBA ball in other spots. I also.....and mostly never talk about.....have a pretty cool relationship with one of the most legendary sports figures in history......but no one ever believes me.....so I keep it to myself. It works out better that way anyway.

HIBACHI: Where do you see the Heat in five years?
Eboy: If Dwyane stays and Beasley develops.....and they can make a free agent signing of huge proportions......the Heat, with Dwayne still in his prime, will be challenging for Eastern Conference supremacy for a few seasons with the Magic and the Cavs.

HIBACHI: Which rookie from the class of '08 will have a better career?
Eboy: Confused by this question.....but I would say that OJ, Derrick, Michael, Robin and Kevin will all be career players with the possibility of a few of them being legendary.

HIBACHI: If you could take any non-all-star in the NBA and place them on your team, who would it be?
Eboy: Wow......who would I want to fit with the Heat? A guy like Caron Butler would look good back in black and red.

HIBACHI: What music do you listen to?
Eboy: I’d say everything......but it’s kind of misleading.....I love old rhythm and blues.....hard rock.....old school hip hop......Motown......80's metal.....90's alternative. Yeah...that’s about it.

HIBACHI: Who wins the Finals this year?
Eboy: Interesting question........here will be your most interesting answer, obviously. The Cavs will take that shit like they own it. The real answer you know you want to read is who will they beat? I’ll say with full honesty....and not because of my dislike for the team.....that the Lakers will not be there. They just don’t have enough horses coming from their bench to win three series in the west. They’ll lose....in my estimation....to either the Nugs or the Jazz in some odd series that will make little sense to fans across the country. Kind of like this answer.

BETCATS: Does having such large man boobs pester you?
Eboy: No.....sports bras are way better today than they were in the 90's.

BETCATS: Can you describe what it is like to be a chronic liar AS A DAY JOB. Would you recommend it?
Eboy: Uhm.....probably not.....you never know when you're going to have to switch it up.

BETCATS: True or False: you and raccoon genitals are like popcorn and butter.
Eboy: Possibly......although I prefer white cheddar salt on my popcorn.

BETCATS: Follow up regarding you and Ryan Jones's marriage: when can we expect the first baby?
Eboy: Ryan is currently taking prenatal vitamins to open the potential birth canal.....so it's getting closer.

BETCATS: How is your son doing? Is 'Lil Eboy' ever going to comment? If so, can i teach him how to?
Eboy: Kid's good....if he comment's I hope he has the potential to do something innovative like coming up with comment hangman....so yeah, you can lend a hand in teaching him.

BETCATS: If you could be one animal, what would it be and why?
Eboy: Hmmmm............well, I like to think that I could be some form of a big cat like a lion or a tiger............but in all honesty....I'd like to be a gorilla....why not live life being able to whip some ass and throw my poop at whoever I'd like?

BETCATS: If you had to eat one human body part forever, what would it be and why?
Eboy: Is this a trick question? When you say "eat" does it mean I have to digest it?

Thanks a lot for your time, E. That was only 1 of 5 . . . get excited for TADOne, Cheryl, AR and Tariq!